- Growth
I get invited to a lot of events. Sometimes these events are must- or should-do’s, even when I’m super busy with things in the district. So, I set the in-district work aside, and I attend. Yesterday was one of those days. The Middlesex County District Attorney invited all of the County’s superintendents and police and fire chiefs to an annual breakfast held at Minuteman High School in Lexington, Massachusetts.
I’ll be honest with you: I wasn’t anticipating a super engaging morning. But, the Minuteman High School food service students (one of the majors in Minuteman’s Career Technical Education sector) shifted my opinion a bit as they presented a lovely breakfast, replete with hot, satisfying, (and, perhaps most importantly) endless coffee.
After breakfast, the attendees were introduced to a speaker, Dr. Robert Sege, a Professor of Pediatrics and Medicine at Tufts School of Medicine, and a graduate of Yale College, with a PhD in Biology from MIT and an MD from Harvard Medical School.
Dr. Sege was asked to speak on students, their feelings of safety and belonging, and their social-emotional wellness. He only uttered a few sentences when I retrieved my laptop from my bag, thinking, “I’ve got to capture some of this.”
Dr. Sege reminded us that too often, we (meaning all adults) focus on the negative with kids. What is wrong. What is lacking. What needs improvement. You get the idea. Not surprising, actually, given the tenor of our nation. Over a hundred years ago President Roosevelt, advised against pointing out “how the strong man stumbles” or how “the doer of deeds could have done them better,” yet America has–especially recently and for a host of reasons–transitioned to a climate with a focus on the negative, on the critical, on fault-finding and fear.
When we, as adults, engage in negative or deficit thinking we, often unwittingly, hand that thinking down to children, whose skepticism then grows and whose trust and self-esteem then disintegrate. That lack of trust can fracture friendships with peers, relationships with coaches and mentors, and trust in teachers or our public schools. Research shows that the disintegration of these important aspects of children’s lives can result in mental health issues and academic decline.
Rather than focus on the negative, Dr. Sege talked about seven positive life conditions that improve both mental health and academic skills. A child or adolescent:
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was able to talk to family about feelings.
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felt their family stood by them in difficult times.
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felt safe and protected by an adult in the home.
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had at least two non-parent adults who took a genuine interest.
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felt supported by friends.
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felt a sense of belonging in high school.
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enjoyed participating in community traditions.
As you can see from this list, the roles we all play as parents, caregivers, guardians, educators, coaches, mentors, advocates and more impact our children profoundly. And while each of the bullets is important in shaping a healthy young adult, what cannot be overlooked is the intersection of the bullets, or more aptly, of the roles we play. For example, in school students might find those two non-parent adults (very likely teachers, paras, coaches) who take a genuine interest in a child. When the child feels that these school-based relationships are healthy–and moreover are connected to the home, the child fares better. In further support of the intersections of these roles, as adults, we all need to help children foster friendships, engage in the school community, and participate in school and community traditions. When schools and parents are aligned, kids experience better mental health.
Every day, students bring their brains into school and these brains’ reward centers are activated. Endorphins are released when kids make art, engage in mindfulness, laugh with peers, play sports, volunteer, and more. Research shows that students who engage in friendships are better able to deal with stress. Now don’t get me wrong. This doesn’t happen with a single power walk or one afternoon of hanging out with friends.
Rather, students come to school 180 days a year for typically 13 years of school. Each day brings different experiences. Some good; some not so good. Every day, a child’s experiences shape and reshape that student’s mental wellness. According to Dr. Sege, the human brain has one to three billion neurons with 10,000 connections. Lots going on there. While one single cafeteria lunch or math class or soccer game may seem insignificant, and statistically each one is insignificant, each is important in its contribution to overall personhood.
We should remember that the brain is wired for trauma, too, and what we must try to resist is focusing on the negative after trauma. The neuroplasticity of the brain allows kids to heal after trauma, if fueled with protective, positive experiences–that is, positive experiences (repeated and repeated and repeated) as outlined above.
Dr. Sege talked about two other important aspects of childhood: engagement and emotional growth. Engagement means kids are invested in something they are passionate about. Sometimes our kids find those things for themselves. Sometimes we have to foster that relationship for them. But, either way, engagement is critical and the passion must be real, not forced, not followed because the child’s friends like it. But, real. Emotional Growth should happen somewhat naturally for kids, and as adults, we have to let it happen, even when it’s not pretty. We have to let our kids strikeout looking at the third pitch, earn a 70 on that big social studies exam, or not make the elite choral group. Yeah, it feels pretty terrible, but through those feelings of failure and the education and healing that follow it, kids grow stronger emotionally. The word “opportunity” is sometimes defined as a favorable moment or occasion. Failure, when buttressed by education and resilience (which have to be explicitly taught), is an opportunity. Failure serves as a building block for emotional growth.
Dr. Sege gives us hope for our children, their engagement, their emotional growth, and mental wellness. District Attorney Marion Ryan did right by the Middlesex County superintendents yesterday. I think we all left, satisfied by a hearty breakfast and fortified by ways to help our children grow their mental health and, in turn, their academic achievement. I need to remember that sometimes, when I set aside the work of the district, I’m actually doing it.
- Mental Health